No(el) Man!

One of Amelie’s favourite shows has provided us all with a few issues recently. Deal or No Deal, the game show where the general public pick boxes at random in order to gain weighty sums of money, has just had a Halloween themed week. This means the studio is decked out all spookily with dry ice and cobwebs, and all the players are made up to look like well known horror icons. You can see where I’m going with this, right? The host of the show is veteran TV entertainer, Noel Edmonds. His attire for this week was loosely based on the Pan character, an impish looking mischievous sprite with horns and goatee (no too far from reality). So, there we were, sat on the living room carpet watching Countdown. Amelie was on my lap and I’m pointing at the letters as they come out and she’s repeating them. It was all good. Then countdown finished and as the titles rolled off screen, there was a preview for Deal or No Deal, which was on next. Unbeknownst to us both, the trailer included Noel Edmonds in full devilish mode, skipping scarily toward the camera lens. You can imagine the surprise on both our faces. Amelie bolted from my lap and began backing out of the room. I looked over and she was shaking her head, saying “No...No...No...” I smiled and replied, “Yes, it’s Noel. Nooo el.” Obviously she wasn’t trying to say his name, but instead telling me to turn off the TV. At the point I realised this, Amelie burst into tears and began clambering over furniture to get away from the TV. I tried my best to reassure her that there was nothing to worry about, but she was having none of it. I picked her up, nursed her for a while and pacified her with soft words of encouragement. I didn’t want this to be a big deal (no pun intended) for her, so I decided to keep the TV on the same channel, with the view to explaining what was happening and that there was nothing to worry about. Bad idea. As soon as Deal or No Deal began, Amelie freaked out. She ran to the other side of the room and screamed hysterically for about five minutes. I turned off the TV and grabbed her. I paced the floor and every time I assumed she’d calmed down, she just burst into tears again. I tried taking her outside for some fresh air and to help ease the chest contractions. Nothing was working. I needed to play the trump card. I asked Amelie if she wanted to watch Teletubbies. Through all the snot and tears she gurgled a yes, but when I went over to turn on the TV she began repeating, “No man...no man...no man!” I was all for ringing Carla (she was out at the gym), but before I did, I picked Amelie up once more and held her to my chest. It worked; Amelie finally stopped crying. Halleluiah!

Amelie, from time to time, would get like this when she was a baby. Moments of hysterics followed by intensified bawling. It was generally in the dead of night when she had the snuffles. We hadn’t had any moments like that for some time, which is why it took me by surprise. The by-product of all this is – Amelie is now weary of the TV. And, the living room. In truth, she’d a little afraid of most places in the house. She can be often heard repeating the words, “No man” over and over while in a room, and then staring to a fixed point in space. Carla, though a little scared to admit it, thinks Amelie can see things, you know, like that kid in Sixth Sense. I don’t believe this. I think the image of Noel is still lingering in her head. We have made a game of it. Whenever we hear Amelie say, “No man”, we all shout back, “Go away, man!”, and then laugh and clap our hands. Amelie has cottoned onto to this and laughs a little too. We then follow it all up with, “Has he gone, Amelie?”, and Amelie always agrees. I hope it’s a passing phase, but should in the future you ever read this Amelie, remember that there was no demon, no devil, no monster trying to escape from the TV that day... it was just Noel Edmonds the TV presenter, and yes, while a little scary looking, you really have nothing to fear.